Haven't blogged in ages.. but i thought i'd share this video clip... "My Chemical Romance - The Ghost of You"

I liked the song and then i saw the clip and it gave me goosebumps... Powerful...

"I never said I'd lie and wait forever
If I died we'd be together
I can't always just forget her
But she could try

At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I?
Should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever ever...

Ever...
Get the feeling that you're never
All alone and I remember now
At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
She dies

At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I?
Should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I?
Should I?
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me

If I fall...
If I fall...
(Down)

At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Never coming home
Never coming home
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I?
Should I?
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna..."

What the fuck is it with all these people who are obviously not disabled.. parking in disabled zones? Just cause you have the little bit of paper hanging from your window doesn't mean you abuse the system.

I was in the carpark picking my mum up from work and i see this car pull up into the disabled parking zone. She just casually gets out and walks off... Where's your disability bitch?! Being a stupid bitch does not count as a disability.. that's a choice.

She needs a good beating... preferably with a wheelchair... that would be poetic justice. What irritates me even more was that the whole parking lot was empty... there was no need to park there. Argh inconsiderate people give me the shits...

Was driving my mum to work today and I was telling her about my mate who's parents flipped about him coming out --

Mum: "There are a more gays now then there were before"

Me: "No there isn't.. you just didin't know about them because they stayed quiet about it"

Mum: "Must be something in the food..."

I cracked myself laughing when she said that.... she's so cute..


Paul Oakenfold - Southern Sun

"I still feel you
beneath my skin
I am tempted
to throw my senses in
cause its easier to fly
than to face another night in southern sun
and your love is all around..."

To start my day off, my dad and i had a very intimate conversation. It went a little like this --

Me: "Hey dad... you're a poohead"
Dad: "POOHEAD... you're the poohead. POO"
Me:Nah nah dad... i think you got it all wrong.. you're the poohead"
Dad: "YOU POOHEAD"
Me: "Oh hey dad.. have you seen the headlines in the newspaper?"
Dad: "What? What does it say?"
Me: "Come here dad.. have a look"
Dad: "What what?"
Me: "Apparently it says you're a poohead"
Dad: "BAH... POOHEAD"
Me: "See ya poohead"
Dad: "Bye"

I feel me and my dad really connected this morning... good times good times.

--------

I'm over at hoopega place at the moment. He had nothing to do so i decided to come over and i brought my mp3 player so i could give him some Sad Music

So far i've got a crap load of songs from my favourite band Staind... i've still got a few to give him. This list so far includes --

Staind - Epiphany [So good]
Staind - Let it out [Awesome song]
Staind - It's been awhile [Beautiful Song]
Staind - Schizophrenic Conversations [Excellent song]
Staind - Everything Changes [Excellent Song]
Staind - Outside [On my favourites list]
Staind - Trippy
Staind - 4 walls
--- Now the non staind songs ---
Stone Sour - Bother
Smile Empty Soul - With this knife
Smile Empty Soul - Silhouettes
Smile Empty Soul - I want my life
Trust Company - Hover (Quiet Mix)[Excellent Song]
A Perfect Circle - 3 Libra's [Great Song]
A Perfect Circle - The Noose
A Perfect Circle - Orestes
Adema - Promises
Atomship - Withered
Chevelle - A Lonely Visitor
Cold - Tell me why
Cold - Different Kind of Pain
Everclear - Why I don't believe in god [my all time favourite song]
John Butler Trio - What you want to say [excellent song]
Linkin Park - My December
The Butterfly Effect - Crave

I think that's most of it actually... it's a pretty good list. Just quietly this sad list kills coachbear's sad cd anyway.

I just got an email from my mate and supposedly tonight on ABC at 9.20, Foreign Correspondent will be covering ----
USA: Gay Conversion



Here's the synopsis:
-- Coming soon to a church, school and clinic near you – sexual reorientation therapy!

Some of the United States’ most powerful Christian lobby groups believe homosexuality is a mental disorder. They’re setting up conversion camps to “cure” gays and turn them straight, sometimes with devastating consequences.

In this report North America correspondent, Mark Simkin gets rare access to the highly controversial but little-known ex-gay movement. “I was exclusively homosexual,” one ex-gay man says. “Now I am exclusively heterosexual. I feel my ‘guy-ness’. I’m not attracted to guys. I’m attracted to my wife.”

Simkin watches a gay man smashing tennis racquets into pillows as part of a counseling session; listens to a commercially available CD that purports to reorient sexuality by self-hypnosis; and tours a camp where children as young as 15 are forced into conversion therapy. “It’s like a cult,” says one young man who spent two months there against his will. “Their whole therapy is based on the conditioning of shame.”

The eighteen year-old shows Simkin the camp rulebook: all fantasies have to be reported to counselors; no Calvin Klein clothing; men must shave once a day and women twice a week; no watching TV or listening to Beethoven or Bach.

Critics say it’s impossible to change a person’s sexuality and call the ex-gay movement a dangerous fraud. Simkin travels to Lynchburg, Virginia to meet Mel White, the former speechwriter to religious right heavyweights Billy Graham, Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell. When White realized he was gay, he underwent conversion therapy that included exorcisms and even electro-shock treatment. None of it worked and White became so traumatized he attempted suicide. “There are all kinds of people I’ve buried who have left suicide notes that say I didn’t know how else to settle this,” he says. “I accuse the ex-gay movement of being complicit with murder all over this country and now around the world.”

The ex-gay movement is increasingly powerful. One of its leaders tells Simkin he wants the message that change is possible to be taught in schools everywhere, including Australia. In the so-called culture wars, the ex-gays are now at the frontline. --

-+- MY THOUGHTS -+-
I love how the 'ex-gay man' says he can feel his 'guy-ness'. LOL what the fuck is guy-ness? Has he mastered the ability to crush cans on his head or now for the first time feel the urge to go restore a 1965 Mustang?

And the camp rulebook says you can't wear Calvin Klein and men must shave once a day. Oh geez lucky me... i only wear Oroton, Ralph Lauren, DKNY, and Prada... I'm half way there to being straight... besides the whole... fucking guys thing. I don't get why the men must shave everyday... Does that mean if you have facial hair you're gay? --- but wait.. isn't Jesus depicted with a massive beard? OH NOW I GET IT... JESUS MUST HAVE BEEN A RAGING HOMO! Join the CLUB JESUS -- you can be president!

Anyway -- what a load of shit this conversion crap is... my mate is going through it with his parents... when will they learn... Just finished my Critical Review for Strategic HR... fuck it sucks but it's done...

Oh i spotted a porn star (i think so anyway) on the road today.. she was holding up traffic and her number plates were XXX.XXX ... When i looked into the car to see who was driving 50km/h in a 80km/h zone... it was this blond chick and the only thought that was going through my head was -

'Yep... she loves the cock...'

My mate sent me this... it's pretty cool... what committment!

Wow what a day... very interesting... my brother just had a Deep and Meaningful in the car on the way home and during dinner and them some. Me and my brother have never talked about me being gay... in the 2 years i've actually come out and said it (He knew before hand when he was checking the site logs in the router) and all in about an hour and a half we talked about me being gay, my sex life (apparantly i'm a slapper), him and his interest in 'asian women' (first gross to the women part... then gross to the asian part... EW asians).

What spurred this on was the fact that on a sunday afternoon... i was in the shower with 'a mate' and we left the door open and he came home and had to walk PAST the bathroom to his room. I went up to him while we were taking down the laundry and all he said was... "Dude.. the next time you decide to have a shower with your mate... PLEASE close the door" [WHOOPS]

Anyway we went on talking and he's told 3 of his friends i'm gay which i'm cool about.. one's supposedly Bi so i told him to tell her that we'll go gay clubbing together HA!

But it really clears a lot of things up with my brother... i never knew where he stood with it all... but he's cool with it... Even better is the fact that i can now kick him out of the house when i decide i need to have a 'shower' with another mate or even having to make some bullshit lame story to find out how long he will be out for to know how long i've got. I'll just tell him it will be in his best interest to stay out for a tad bit longer...

Anyway i feel good about this... made my day... maybe we'll have more D&M's in the future... Hopefully not all of them being initiated through me being naked with another guy in the shower... or bed... or kitchen... [NOT THAT I DO IT OFTEN... in my own house]

Oh by the way -- my 'mate'... he was worth it.. HA!

I've been playing ministry of sound: the annual 2006 cd's. It's been pretty good... my sister got me into House music... i used to hate it but then went clubbing to it and it's good to dance to... the switch over from hating RnB since they play the same songs over and over again in one night at the clubs... and RnB has gone soft and turned to shit (there are exceptions of course).

One song that i've been playing a lot is on CD2 called "Anthony Rother - Father" ... sounds awesome

" Brother and sister,
tell me how you feelin'.

And I say mother,
tell me how you feelin'.

Father,
tell me how you feelin'.

If you can't tell me how you feel,
I may say: There will be no freedom.

One million miles away from home.
One million miles away from love.
One million times away from hope.
One million times away from god. "

The lyrics don't sound that great if you just read it but the beats emphasises the lyrics... well i think so anyway.

Still at uni... got another 25 minutes before i go home... ergh ... and then i gotta do a critical review for my strategic HR class... lame...

My friend just told me he came out to his parents the other day. The last couple of days he has been taken to a psychotherapist and even had to talk to christians who have 'turned' straight. From what i have gathered there was a lot of frustration and anger from his parents (mainly towards chairs and so forth). At one point his dad told him 'you make a decision... turn straight or i have no son'.

I really feel for him at the moment. It's always a possibility that it would turn ugly and in some ways you expect it... but it doesn't make it any easier.

After hearing that i am thankful that my mum took it so well. There was no screaming... she didn't force me to go accupuncture (i don't know how that helps). She did blame herself for not giving my dad a 'normal' son. I think that hurt the most... not because she doesn't think i'm normal but because she was blaming herself for something that she had no control over and that i was the cause of her pain. But she now accepts who i am and we joke about it a lot... She'd say things like 'Why do you have to go to the gym? It's not like you're gonna pick up girls anyway!'
I'm very grateful for my mum and everything she's done for me (although i don't always tell her... it's good to keep her guessing).

Anyway i'm gonna meet my mate tomorrow at uni and see how he is... hopefully everything will be ok

Staind - Let it Out
"I try to move on,
nothin' left to hurt me now.
I hope it's all in the past to stay.
Just tryin' to see through
all the fucked up shit we do,
and hope that we all don't drift away."

Ergh... an hour and a half to set this thing up. No i'm not computer illiterate, i just started to put photos up etc. then got bored and closed it... then realised i had nothing better to do.. so decided to fill in more time by doing this LJ stuff...

Well this is what i have so far... not sure if i'm happy with the layout etc... we'll see...